Lost in Perception

If I had to pick only two things The Sweetheart and I are really good at, it would be sex and misunderstandings. I’m grateful the sex is so good; it’s kept me around to learn and grow through the misunderstandings. I used to believe that I volunteered for this life in order to learn, then later realized that life is also supposed to be fun. I certainly get the best of both with The Sweetheart. He’s taught me scads about patience, perception, the beauty of admitting our mistakes, how to …

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Awareness and Shift in Action

Life isn’t about what happens to us, it’s about how we respond to the happenings. The A/C company just came and took the wall unit that cools the main area (living room, dining room, kitchen) of the house I’m currently living in. They had promised a replacement “rental” unit for the time it would take to repair this unit. Turns out, there are none available. They don’t have anything that will fit into that space. They also said they won’t know what they need to repair it until they get …

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Cascade of Shift

Life suddenly got a lot simpler since we got back from vacation. New experiences have a magical way of delivering new perspectives, even when I think new perspectives aren’t needed. Spending 11 days with a hormonal 17-year-old gave me new eyes for my own drama. Several times during our vacation, he went to sleep hating me and woke up loving me, or vice versa. The last morning of the trip, he woke up hating me (it had started the night before) and continued hating me until we got on the …

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A Way to Forgive

“To understand everything is to forgive everything.” ~ The Buddha I struggled with forgiveness for most of my life. I was 40+ and people were still telling me, “You have to forgive your Mother.” My reply was a stubborn, “No, I don’t! You don’t know anything about this!” They were right. I did need to forgive her, not for her, but for me. It hit me one day… the anger I had held all those years had not had near the effect on her that it had on me. So, …

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Getting Ready for Goal Setting

I’ve been allergic to goals most of my life. As soon as someone starts telling me I need to set goals, my system goes into defense mode and begins rejecting all efforts in that direction. I’ve got lots of excuses: I’m self employed and my income is inherently unstable; I can’t plan if I don’t know what I’ll be earning; I’m in a person-to-person business, and there is no way for me to know what other people will do; I didn’t set goals in my previous business, and that was …

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Shifting Gears and Perspectives

It seems like I have been ignoring or in battle with my body all of my life. Anorexia became my way of life when I was fifteen years old. It didn’t begin with trying to lose weight; it was a control issue. My mother and stepfather wouldn’t let me have any money except lunch money, so I stopped eating to gain control, both emotionally and financially. Quite by accident, I found out that if I didn’t eat breakfast, I wouldn’t be as hungry at lunchtime. Within six months, I was …

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My Mom Thinks I am Perfect

While visiting my son in Chicago, I attended a group where he volunteers as a facilitator. At some point during his talk, he made the comment, “My Mom thinks I’m perfect.” He was making a point about mothers and how they don’t think anyone is good enough for their children. I refrained from correcting him at the time, but it got me to thinking. I do not believe that my son is perfect. Stellar, yes. Perfect, no.

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How to Live and Die

I visited friends in the hospital yesterday. He had severe angina a few days prior and had a few stents put in his heart as a result. They were expecting him to be released later in the day. As I visited, I noticed that he was tired, yet his cantankerous humor was on full display. She was fully supportive and present, her love for him very evident. We enjoyed each others’ company for a time. I excused myself when the nurses came to tend to him. She offered to accompany …

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Beyond Right and Wrong

I’ve heard that human beings must hear a new concept seven different ways, from seven different people, before they can adopt it. I’d say that’s a pretty good average. Sometimes I’ll take on a new one at first brush. Other times, it takes far more than seven for me to understand. I hired my first counselor twenty years ago. One concept she introduced me to is that nothing, and therefore no one, is all good or bad. I argued this with her. I was certain that I knew people who …

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