Value of Coaching: To Know You

If you really want to see me cry, tell me the truth of who you are and then ask for permission to be that as if it’s not okay. Without realizing it, that’s exactly what one of my coaching clients did today. I rarely use assessments in my coaching. Most assessments I’ve seen, from Meyers-Briggs to Myss Archetypes, put people in boxes. I’ve yet to meet a human who feels fully comfortable living life in a box. Most people who experience Assessment also experience at least a modicum of, “Yeah, …

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Am I Really Type-A?

I’m spending a quite a bit of time laughing at myself lately. It’s a good hobby, raising the endorphins and such. I’m laughing because I keep catching myself in the act of raising my own level of awareness. In case you didn’t know, the primary task of a Life Coach is raising the level of awareness. I’m just going to take a pause right here and acknowledge myself for doing a really great job with myself! Today’s laughter is around my new awareness of what my Type-A behavior might really …

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Marginalized by Privilege

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about what I had learned from #Pulse and the aftermath up to that point. You can read the article here. One reader’s response started out like this: “I was so moved and touched with your words that I shed tears while reading this at work. Very beautifully said. Especially the section where you talk about the misuse of love and the human conditions not being able to change with legislation or hate. But then I noticed you’re white.” My words were valid until …

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When Happy isn’t Happy Enough

Have you ever been depressed? I have, and it sucks. At one point in my life, I was so depressed that my doctor put me on Zoloft because I was breaking down and crying ‘for no reason’ in my office. Zoloft was nothing short of a miracle for me; the crying stopped, other people’s problems weren’t mine, and I felt happy. Had it not been for the side effects, I would probably still be using it today. Fortunately for my own personal growth, and whatever I share that helps you, …

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The Human Continuum

I didn’t write this. It is part of a conversation I had with the cousin of someone I am praying for who was shot at The Pulse in Orlando. I’ve posted it here with permission because people need to READ this: Only the human mind invents categories, have to put things on and in little boxes and call it good, and tries to force facts into separated tiny little pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning …

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Love and Remission

Hate is a cancer. Anger is a cancer. Violent emotions are a cancer. Rejection is a cancer, whether rejection of others or the deeper cancer – rejection of self. They are cancers of the soul.   Whatever shows up in the soul will filter down through the mind and emotions, into the physical.   No wonder there is such an outbreak of cancer in the world.   This was shared with me today, and I must share with you because the truth of it is vibrating deep in my bones. …

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The Power of BEing

I was talking with a client this morning (it’s only 7:15 a.m.; I coach globally via Skype) when he broached his agenda. “I would like to focus on… to be more my I AM, to explore love, peace…” As is so often the case, my client couldn’t hear the clarity of what he wanted because he was in the ‘static’ of life. I heard him very clearly, and I told him so. As we focused on his agenda, I held the space of his Divine presence, allowing him to sift …

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I Swear

I am intimately familiar with the nuanced flavors of Dial, Zest, Tide, and Palmolive, to name just a few. My mother had used all of them in a vain effort to wash “those dirty words” out of my mouth before the tender age of eight. Even the twenty-mule team of Borax didn’t stand a chance of pulling out the cantankerous roots of my heathen vocabulary. At nineteen, I found myself sitting across the desk from my supervisor in a major retail chain, being lectured on the inappropriateness of a sailor’s …

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Callous, Callus, and Me

I firmly believe that people are put into my life for very specific reasons. Some of them are here to help me heal my wounds, others to remind me of them. I know who the re-mind-‘ers are because they rankle like a big, fat sliver under my skin, and they just won’t go away until I deal with the damned wound they keep poking. It so happens that I also believe that our greatest calling is the thing that we struggle with the most. My biggest struggle is with my …

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Loving You Back to YOU

It’s true. There is a wonder-full thing that happens as we begin to truly know ourselves, our purpose, our passion, our gifts, our talents, our way, our time. I’ve seen it in my clients. I’ve felt it in myself. I believe this is why empaths respond so well to coaching. As an empath, I was always receiving. As I began to know me, the receiving stopped being so overwhelming. It took me a while to understand why. I was taught to not be “me.” I had to pick up the …

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