Value of Coaching: To Know You

If you really want to see me cry, tell me the truth of who you are and then ask for permission to be that as if it’s not okay. Without realizing it, that’s exactly what one of my coaching clients did today. I rarely use assessments in my coaching. Most assessments I’ve seen, from Meyers-Briggs to Myss Archetypes, put people in boxes. I’ve yet to meet a human who feels fully comfortable living life in a box. Most people who experience Assessment also experience at least a modicum of, “Yeah, …

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When Happy isn’t Happy Enough

Have you ever been depressed? I have, and it sucks. At one point in my life, I was so depressed that my doctor put me on Zoloft because I was breaking down and crying ‘for no reason’ in my office. Zoloft was nothing short of a miracle for me; the crying stopped, other people’s problems weren’t mine, and I felt happy. Had it not been for the side effects, I would probably still be using it today. Fortunately for my own personal growth, and whatever I share that helps you, …

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Not New Years Day

I got up this morning, made The Sweetheart’s coffee and lunch, and sent him out the door, just like every other morning. I didn’t even glance at the whiteboard I had meticulously crosshatched with goals and days of the week. Somewhere around 1:15 this afternoon, I was standing in the kitchen, juicing carrots, ginger, and turmeric as my lunch of beans and rice heated on the stove. I was a little in awe of myself. I had already written more words today than I have all week, posted on my …

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No Room for Advice in Coaching

I had someone send me a piece of advice they thought I could use in my coaching practice.Ah, the most common misconception in coaching… that I would have the audacity to tell someone else what they should be doing with their life. As though, somehow, I would know better.How could I possibly know better?Each of us is the one best expert in our own lives. There is no better expert in your life than you. After all, you are the only one who has been here the whole time. Same goes …

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Blocks Suck

As a Life Coach, I cannot understand why a coach would ever focus on their clients’ blocks. I see the blurbs everywhere, “Overcome your Blocks,” “Conquer Obstacles,” “Push through your Pain.” They are legitimate coaching methods, but I simply cannot understand why anyone would use them, given the much easier and more effective methods readily available. Blocks suck. They suck the life out of clients, the joy out of work, and the fun out of life. Focusing on blocks sucks. I can do ‘Gapping the Goal,” and ‘Overcoming Blocks & …

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Just Try It

I was working with my own Life Coach today on how to effectively market and promote what I do, given that I don’t know what to call it and I don’t know anyone else who does it. (Seems like a great topic for coaching, doesn’t it?) As we fleshed out different aspects of what I do, it became obvious that what I DON’T do is equally important. I don’t disempower my clients. It goes entirely against everything I stand for to take someone’s power away from them by insinuating that …

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Relieving Performance Anxiety

I find it ironic that opening my laptop can create a mind-numbing experience of performance anxiety for me. After all, I can get up on a stage and speak to a room full of people with only with five minutes’ notice. How could opening my laptop be more intimidating than that? Questions like that are the core of coaching. I’ll share my answers with you, so you can get a feel for how easy it is to work through the challenges of life when we slow down and take a …

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My Mom Thinks I am Perfect

While visiting my son in Chicago, I attended a group where he volunteers as a facilitator. At some point during his talk, he made the comment, “My Mom thinks I’m perfect.” He was making a point about mothers and how they don’t think anyone is good enough for their children. I refrained from correcting him at the time, but it got me to thinking. I do not believe that my son is perfect. Stellar, yes. Perfect, no.

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When All Else Fails

I spent a week with the wonder-full folks at Coach For Life last week. Renewed would be my word for how I felt, or maybe Gratitude, or simply YUMMY! I’ve been struggling with finding my niche, branding myself, marketing, and everything else that a business plan would include. Apparently, my right-brained way of receiving information was not playing well with my left-brained way of wanting it all to fit in neat boxes. I’ve been having a logic vs. intuition battle of wills for several years, and no one was winning. …

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You may feel a little sting

I know better than to discuss certain things on my blog. Religion and politics are strictly off-limits in peaceful conversation. HOWEVER, I’m making an exception because I truly believe this information needs to be shared. Given my recent surgeries, I’ve had a lot of contact with the medical community in the past few months. Of interest today is the information I received from a very reliable source (a well-educated doctor who also happens to be a Democrat) that there will be no two-tier health system under Obamacare. If you’re not …

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