I caught myself doing it again today. In the midst of saying the Long Healing Prayer for a Baha’i friend, I found myself resisting receiving. What??? “The Manifesting Diva™” isn’t supposed to ever have slip ups like that!
Wait! Who says? I don’t hold myself to perfection, nor do I hold anyone else to it (except when I slip up and do that, too!) Holding ourselves to perfection is a great way to stifle growth, impede progress, and delay manifesting. After all, if we have to pretend we are right (perfect) all the time, we can’t admit our mistakes, and mistakes are beautiful learning edges! (More on perfectionism later. Meanwhile, back at receiving…)
So, there I was, saying this very powerful Long Healing Prayer for a friend and I caught myself in a story that the healing didn’t apply to me. I was actively pushing away the possibility of my own healing. After all, I was doing this for someone else. Several conditioned beliefs reared up all at once.
I was acting-as-if healing were in a limited supply, I wasn’t important enough (didn’t deserve) to receive, and it would be selfish to ask for something for myself. The big “should” was an old “shouldn’t.” I can hear my mother’s voice, “You shouldn’t ask for things for yourself.”
One thing I know for sure: when things like this come up for me, I’m not the only one who has experienced them. Maybe you know someone who succumbs to these beliefs from time to time. Feel free to share this article with them.
Lack and Abundance
In my early study of psychology, I was involved in a comparison of rain forest and arid cultures. Geographically, most of the land mass on our planet is arid. Arid cultures dominate our conditioning. It’s a shame, too, because rainforest cultures have an ease with abundance that is missing in arid cultures.
In arid cultures, there is a distinct lack mentality. Scarcity dominates their culture and behavior. There can only be one god, there is only so much food, women must be controlled because they produce more mouths to feed, etc. Physical boundaries are fiercely protected because there is only so much to go around. Ironically, the abundance in arid cultures is of control, dominance, and violence.
Compare that experience to rainforest cultures: there is plenty of food, water, and other necessitates of life. Nobody fights over property, food, or other physical things, because there is more than enough to go around. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, they’ve got the ground floors covered. If they want something, they take it; there is no concept of stealing because there is always more. There is no scarcity or lack. They naturally live in abundance and are comfortable with it, because that is the way it has always been for them.
Can you imagine living in a society where lack, limited supply, and scarcity have never existed? That brings us to today’s first inquiry. I invite you to consider this without forcing or arguing with your way of thinking; just imagine.
Inquiry: What would it be like if Divine abundance was truly unlimited? What if there was always enough?
Important and Deserving
There’s a trigger if ever I saw one. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the scathing tones of, “Who do you think you are?” when I was a child. Like most children, I had a natural sense of my own importance, and never questioned whether I was deserving. Perhaps all children are born with a rainforest mentality, and it is only the arid cultural conditioning that steals away our knowingness of our own worth over time.
Invitation: Spend time remembering the small children you’ve been exposed to. Remember the ease with which they ask for or demand to have their needs met, how they meet their needs before they tend to the needs of others, and how generous they are when their needs are met. What would it be like to honor your own needs, to know that you are important and deserving? What would it be like to reconnect and resurrect that small child in you? What would it be like to have your needs so met that you overflowed with generosity?
The Selfish Myth
This one deserves its own blog post. There is so much to be said about the myth of selfishness and its origins in people who were wounded into believing that their needs didn’t matter. The wounding started so long ago that the source has been forgotten. All the more reason to begin healing now.
Somehow, somewhere, it became selfish to receive or even want to receive. How very sad is that? To illustrate, let’s look at the giving side. It’s such a joy to give a cherished gift to someone. Have you ever given a gift that simply lit someone up with enjoyment and happiness? Take a moment and relive that pleasure. Imagine the look on their face, the sound of their voice, the feeling of that moment. Really let yourself feel that moment. That’s the gift we’re depriving others when we refuse to receive. To apply it to my experience this morning, I was depriving myself and the Divine of that pleasure when I briefly refused to receive healing. Silly Manifesting Diva!
There is always a larger scope to these smaller lessons. One little moment of stories about unworthiness and scarcity reveals a much larger truth. If I am unable to receive, I have crippled my ability to manifest. Without a place for the manifestation to land, it all goes sideways.
I’ll leave you with this:
Inquiry: Allow yourself a moment to really re-experience an area where manifesting went awry. Drop any self-judgment and be open to knowing what caused the malfunction. You didn’t do it wrong; you were perfectly learning. These experiences are simply part of growing knowing. Pay attention to your beliefs about receiving. Did they get in the way? Was it something else? What is there for you to know in this experience?