I would love a little extra LOVE today.
There are shifts going on in my life and I’m feeling deep sadness.
Letting go only happens to make room for something better.
My heart knows this, but it is also healthy to feel the grieving part.
I was never allowed to grieve as a child. Even when my father died, it was only acceptable to cry on the day of his funeral.
I am exploring grieving. The bittersweet, the hope, the random tears, the good memories, the anger, it’s all here in a jumble, like a puzzle that I have just opened. I haven’t even put the edge pieces together; I’m sifting the pieces through my fingers to see how they feel, examine the colors, and decide if I really want to take on this project.
Grief is a project.
For most of my life, I have peeked inside the box, and then put it back on a shelf. Occasionally, a box falls down and the pieces scatter, tears come, and I experience the overwhelm before I can get all the pieces back in the box and the lid taped down.
Running from grief is like that. It results in sneak attacks.
I am making a conscious choice to fully experience this moment for as long as it lasts, to put the puzzle together, and see the whole picture.
I am choosing to heal.
“A little extra love” by my needs is a kind word, a long-distance hug, prayers, nurturing & loving energy, energetic love that respects my need to process this alone in the moment.
I love you. You are part of my gratitude.
I share this here on my blog because it is important. Grief is important. Feeling is important. Knowing that you are not the only one who feels this way is important. And, it’s important to know that if I can get through this (and I will) you can, too.