When I am in Sadness

I would love a little extra LOVE today.
There are shifts going on in my life and I’m feeling deep sadness.
Letting go only happens to make room for something better.
My heart knows this, but it is also healthy to feel the grieving part.
I was never allowed to grieve as a child. Even when my father died, it was only acceptable to cry on the day of his funeral.
I am exploring grieving. The bittersweet, the hope, the random tears, the good memories, the anger, it’s all here in a jumble, like a puzzle that I have just opened. I haven’t even put the edge pieces together; I’m sifting the pieces through my fingers to see how they feel, examine the colors, and decide if I really want to take on this project.
Grief is a project.
For most of my life, I have peeked inside the box, and then put it back on a shelf. Occasionally, a box falls down and the pieces scatter, tears come, and I experience the overwhelm before I can get all the pieces back in the box and the lid taped down.
Running from grief is like that. It results in sneak attacks.
I am making a conscious choice to fully experience this moment for as long as it lasts, to put the puzzle together, and see the whole picture.
I am choosing to heal.

“A little extra love” by my needs is a kind word, a long-distance hug, prayers, nurturing & loving energy, energetic love that respects my need to process this alone in the moment.
I love you. You are part of my gratitude.

I share this here on my blog because it is important. Grief is important. Feeling is important. Knowing that you are not the only one who feels this way is important. And, it’s important to know that if I can get through this (and I will) you can, too.
Namaste

2 Comments

  1. ((hugs)) and ((more hugs)) and ((hugs every few minutes)).

    Love sent your way, in every conceivable dimension of time.

    Grief can be very hard. Heck, no “can be” about it. It IS hard, especially when growing up you were never allowed to have it.

    Allowing yourself to really feel the layers of the pain and understand the precise sources of that pain, being able to perceive what emotions you need for self-comfort, what you need to hear inside your heart and soul, means really allowing yourself to heal, as you said.

    That letting go allows something better to come in. You are loving YOU. reparenting yourself with the LOVE you would have liked to have all through your growing up.

    Love to you, for you and with you, this minutes, this hour, this day, this week, this month, this year, and so it is.
    *LOVE*

    • You’re amazing.
      Thank you for sharing your kindness, wisdom and love with me, and thank you for sharing it with everyone who will visit this page.
      You express beautifully.
      Your expression is helping my aching heart to heal.
      Much LOVE received! Much LOVE given! I appreciate you so!

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