I’ve decided to add a new category to my blog. I really wanted to call it “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Life,” but it takes up a lot of space. I think I’ll shorten it to Laughing Now and see how it goes.
The whole concept started a couple of years ago. I remember that something really strange happened and I was very upset at the time. As the Divine would have it, I heard myself saying, “I’ll laugh about this later.”
The next thought through my mind was wondering why I should wait for the later. If I can find the humor in it, I’ll start laughing now.
It turned out to be a very healing concept for me.
My recent medical episodes are a prime example.
I thought I’d share the email I sent to family & friends shortly after a pair of surgeries:You may or may not remember that I had a birthday on Sunday.
Getting another year older has been really interesting this time.
You may or may not have heard that I had two surgeries last week.
I told you it was more interesting this time.
The ex cancelled me off his insurance the end of January instead of the end of 2013 like we agreed. It wasn’t like it was costing him anything; I was paying the premiums, but I digress.
I decided to make a couple of quick trips to doctors before the insurance ended. I had a toenail that was bothering me, and I also had a hemorrhoid for the last 30 years, which waited to begin bothering me until last year. Go figure. Apparently hemorrhoids are like volcanoes, dormant for years until they decide to put on a show.
I honestly figured the colorectal surgeon would put a rubber band on the hemorrhoid (a friend had that done & it was quick and easy) and the podiatrist would just trim away the side of that nail & treat the nailbed in the office to keep it from coming back.
Who wrote that thing about “the best laid plans of mice and men?”
Did I mention I had two surgeries?
First off, the colorectal exam was an experience unto itself. I’m really grateful I decided to go to a female doctor. As she began the new patient consult, she informed me that the gynecologists and colorectal surgeons had gotten together, decided the two most uncomfortable and embarrassing positions patients could be put into, then they each took one. She wasn’t kidding, and the exam experience is a tale unto itself.
Long story short, no rubber band for my little friend. Oh, no. Surgical removal was the only way.
On to the podiatrist, who happened to notice that another nail was also ingrowing, right before he began to examine my bunions.
Another long story short, I did mention I’ve had two surgeries in the past week, right?
Thought I’d catch you up on how things are going.
I had surgery to remove the hemorrhoid on Tuesday. I thought that would be the end of a 30 year old pain in the @$$, but it turns out that there’s healing time, too. 😉
Wednesday I had surgery to remove both bunions.
Both of my doctors were aware I was having the surgeries. The podiatrist doesn’t often do bilateral (both feet) bunionectomies, but I’m not just strong-headed, I’m physically strong, too. He figured I could handle it.Both surgeries went well. Twilight sedation is much friendlier on my body than that general anesthesia stuff. All was copasetic Thursday afternoon, and I thought the colorectal surgeon had completely overstated the pain after hemorrhoid surgery. After all, it just felt like a bad flare day to me.
Until I fainted Thursday night. Not to get into too much detail, but that first bowel movement after a hemorrhoidectomy… there’s some pain involved! I gave birth naturally to a baby who weighed over 9 pounds, and I’m not sure which was worse. Apparently that pain, combined with my normal low blood pressure, led me to faint, fall off the toilet, and do a faceplant on the cool tile floor… with my feet in post-op clodhoppers.
Stop laughing. It’s not funny.
Actually, keep laughing. It is funny… now.
Pain through the night (feet, not rear) led me to call the podiatrist on Friday. The Sweetheart’s mother (c’mon, you knew I wouldn’t be available long), sweet sainted woman she is, took me in to see him. He x-rayed the left foot (I landed right on that incision when I fell), and I got to see how pretty my new bones are! YAY! No harm done to feet, and I’m allowed to “play with my toes” to be sure they heal up all flexi-bendi.
Can’t believe my butt’s still sore. One little stitch…
But I’m getting better every day!
My son happened to call right after I regained consciousness Thursday night. He bought a plane ticket for Sunday. Arrived at noon on my birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!
I had one more fainting episode Friday night before he got here. Thankfully, The Sweetheart was here. Friends don’t let friends pass out alone.
Apparently it’s really interesting to watch someone faint. I knew I was going down. He thought I was giving him a hug when I looped my arms around his neck. My eyes never closed and my facial expression never changed. I just slowly slid down the front of him. He caught me, got my walker (YES! I ADMIT I’M OLD NOW! I HAVE A WALKER! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Snarky, snarky, snarky!) out from between us, and laid me gently on my back on the floor. I came back around in a small puddle of sweat, exhausted, but none the worse for wear. No fainting episodes since. Both were directly related to the same thing.
Did I mention that bowel movements may be somewhat uncomfortable after a hemorrhoidectomy?
My son is staying with me until after my Monday podiatrist appointment. I should get my stitches out of my feet and get permission to drive again that day. I’m supposed to be mostly off my feet until March 13th. Apparently, the feet muscles need a little time learning to walk again.
One really nice thing about this is that I’ll have a LOT of time to work on promoting my coaching practice!
Much Love, Light, & Laughter!
p.s. If there is one piece of advice I’d give you, it is this: don’t get hemorrhoids!
I’ll save the story of the original exam and that one little stitch for other days. I’m still laughing now!
(image courtesy: http://www.dreamstime.com/blond-girl-8-free-stock-photo-imagefree219105)