As a Life Coach, I cannot understand why a coach would ever focus on their clients’ blocks. I see the blurbs everywhere, “Overcome your Blocks,” “Conquer Obstacles,” “Push through your Pain.” They are legitimate coaching methods, but I simply cannot understand why anyone would use them, given the much easier and more effective methods readily available.
Blocks suck. They suck the life out of clients, the joy out of work, and the fun out of life. Focusing on blocks sucks. I can do ‘Gapping the Goal,” and ‘Overcoming Blocks & Obstacles’ until the cows come home, but why would I? ‘Block’ focus results in more blocks being discovered. It’s arduous, exhausting work. It sucks.
After all, when we focus on the problem, the problem is all we see. Solutions are not contained within the problem, or the problem would not exist in the first place. Solutions live outside the problem; it is only by going outside the problem that we can find solutions.
In coaching my clients, part of my responsibility is to re-train their brains to focus on what is working. What we focus on expands. By focusing on what is working, we expand our ability to find more things that are working, and more ways things can work.
It looks something like this:
Client comes with an agenda. In the beginning, it usually comes out as, “I need (______________).” Whenever we are in the space of ‘need,’ we are signaling a position of lack. Lack and abundance are polar opposites. Check into the energy of those two words, and see which one feels better for you.
Lack is not a resourceful space. In order to facilitate my client’s ability to create what they want, a shift in focus is in order.
My first question is, “On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you with having (______________) right now?” The number the client comes up with isn’t important, just that they have a baseline. I write down the number, and then ask where they would like to be on the same scale.
So far, this looks a lot like the traditional coaching method of gapping the goal.
What comes next returns the client to full resourcefulness.
I ask what is inside the current number that is working. All positive features are noted. Negative features are heard but not recorded. I repeat back what is working, and clients often report that the numeric value of their current situation increases simply through the process of focusing on what is working!
The next step is incredibly empowering. I then ask them to tell me what is inside the target number in addition to what is already working. Invariably, they come up with even more juicy details of what it is that they would like to create.
I continue to feed back the juicy details of what they would like to have more of. As we play in the juiciness, the focus continues to expand on growth, and more and more possibilities unfold.
When the client is complete, I read both the current and goal lists back to the client. There is a transformation that occurs at this point. The client is no longer focused on lack, what is missing, or any draining aspect of life. Their entire focus is on what is working and what is possible.
From this empowered and resourceful space, next steps are selected with ease, joy, and eagerness.
And all it took was a little shift of focus.
If you would like to experience this shift for yourself, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary 30 minute discovery session. Find out how much ease, joy, and eagerness you can manifest in a half hour!
p.s. I invite you to read over the article one more time. Notice your energy while reading the beginning of the article versus reading the end. It works!